The world is just a smidge nuts right now, and I think most of us are probably experiencing some pretty negative thoughts and emotions. Is the world ending? Will I have a job? When will this end? Anxiety, worry, overwhelm, depressed, sad, angry… And there are a million other thoughts, feelings, and emotions we are experiencing. Today, let’s go over a 4 step process (adapted from a Tony Robbins message I listened to the other day) in order to work through and change some of these negative thoughts and feelings.
1. The Emotion List Grab a piece of paper.
Split it into two columns. On the left hand side, I want you to list all of the emotions that you experience at least once a week that empower you. These can be things like, “I feel…happy, content, strong, peaceful, beautiful.” Anything that lifts you up and helps you to create the life you want. On the ride hand side, I want you to list all of the emotions that you experience at least once a week that disempower you or mess you up. These can be things like, “I feel sad, frustrated, lost, alone, depressed, confused, uncertain.” Anything that basically drains the energy out of your life. Great. We’ve got our list. Now, go ahead and circle the top two emotions in each category. The two that most strongly empower you and the two that most strongly disempower you.
2. Identify the Solution
Looking at the disempowering list, ask yourself this question, “When I’m feeling any of these emotions, what emotional state would I like to feel that would change my life?” I’m feeling unmotivated. I want to feel determined. I’m feeling disconnected. I want to feel loving. I’m feeling scared. I want to feel courageous. Take some time to figure out what the antidote would be. If you were feeling and acting the way you want to, what would you be feeling or doing differently?
3. Practice that Emotion
Practice emotions? What in the world? Yep, you can actually condition the emotion you want so it can begin to appear more naturally. We’re learning to ditch the old motto of “mind over matter” and replace it with “mind over emotion.” Emotion is often created by the way we use our bodies. Think about the last time you were sad or depressed. What was your body doing? More than likely it looked something like this: slow, droopy shoulders, head dropped low, shallow breathing, quiet, and hesitant. Just reading those words made me start to feel a little bit like that. Time to shift. I want you to think about one gesture that you do when you are determined. What do you do when you are passionate? What do you do when you feel loved? What do you do when you are strong? What do you do when you are calm? What do you do when you are happy? These gestures could be anything. Hands on your hips could make you feel strong or determined. Hands out wide could make you feel open and loving. Sitting with your back straight could make you feel calm. There’s no right or wrong here. Take some time to play and figure out the gestures that empower you. Once we have our gestures, it’s time to condition some positive emotions.
4. Condition It “You wanna get nuts?
Let’s get nuts!” Find a safe environment for you…alone in the car, alone in your room, together with a trusted loved one…whatever makes you feel safe and secure. I want you to feel your disempowering emotions on purpose. Yep, you read that right. Here’s the fun part…then I want to you feel empowered on purpose. Here’s an example: Feel depressed on purpose. Droop your shoulders, talk slowly, walk slowly or don’t move at all, lower your head, feel the sadness and how the body responds. Then feel strong and happy on purpose. Stand up, put a smile on your face, take a wide posture, put your hands on your hips like the super hero you are, stick your chest out, look up at the sky, the world is yours, roar, flex, whatever makes you feel powerful, use your empowering gestures. Notice how the body responds. You’ll probably feel a lot better after you changed the way your body was moving. If you don’t, just keep practicing. Try this 3 times a day for 3 days or more. Notice how you are able to actually develop your emotional muscles. This isn’t white-knuckling or powering through. This is acknowledging, accepting, learning what the emotion is saying to us, and then taking that energy and focusing it where we want it to go. Let’s get emotionally stronger together! I help change negative thoughts. Contact me today to begin your healing journey!